Every woman wants a good man, and as we
grow and change the ideas we have about what a good man entails also changes. What
we wanted 4 or 10 years ago in a man might not be what we want today.
Our views of a good man also changes as we
date and have people come and go in our lives, we sometimes get a taste of what
we want from that hard core list that just about every woman has in her mind
(some have it written down somewhere) and with that taste me might realise that
it is something that we can live without or that we just don’t want.
I have written a few posts about what women
want and having a list, about love and expectation. But it is different for
every woman. Yet what all women want is a GENTLEMAN.
We all tend to forget that someone who we’ve
been out with a few times or know in social situations can be a very different
person in a relationship.
Also in the beginning almost everyone is on
their best behavour with the first few dates. We all want to impress and men
even more so. Many put up a front just to “get the girl”. So he could be
totally faking it, and its not always easy to tell.
So what makes a true gentleman?
Well here's just my opinion.
A true Gentleman values more than just you look.
Everyone loves to be complimented,
especially women when they’ve put in a lot of effort to look especially nice.
But are all his compliments just about your looks?
It doesn’t matter how great he is at giving
compliments or how creative he can be or even how often he does it. If all a
man can focus on is how you look, and specially showing you off, or the “dirty
talk”; that’s a red flag. Something is definitely off about him. Its good that
he compliments how you look and appreciates the effort and time you put into
looking good but he should value and appreciate things the things that make
you, you. The things that make you unique, your personality, your wit and your intellect.
The things he makes you feel good about will be things that you control and
have developed within yourself as a person. Not just the results of getting
lucky in the gene pool or what make-up enhances or hides.
A real Gentleman will not be intimidated by your ambition
A man, a real grown man, will have goals
for himself. Either economically, intellectually or on just about anything that
improves himself as a person in his own eyes. So therefore he would want to be
with a woman who has goals for herself and isn’t afraid to go after her dreams
even if it is to simply read a really great novel or to help someone else.
Because he know once she reaches her goal she will set herself a new target,
always growing herself. He and because he has goals himself, yet always keeping
her in mind he will not be afraid of her outgrowing him as they would be
growing together. He would want to be part of a power couple not a
dictatorship. Be mindful and careful of anyone who does not encourage you to
reach for your dreams.
A true Gentleman will not be intimidated by
you
On the line of a true gentleman not wanting
to be in a dictatorship; any man who does not want you to speak your mind and
who will not acknowledge that you have a voice and opinion of your own,
especially if it difference from his own, is probably not someone who you
should have in your life, period.
A Gentleman will have more interests than just you.
Of course you should be a priority in his
life, but he needs to have other interest. Hobbies, friends and aspirations. A man
who works he’s entire life around you is…uhm, well its just not healthy. Don’t get
me wrong, he should not be doing things that make you unhappy or that can have
damaging consequences in your relationship. If he’s working hard at his profession
or his favourite pass time is building model airplanes there nothing wrong with
that, let him be, as long as your communication and necessary couples time is
till in place and good there’s nothing wrong with it. A relationship is there
to enhance your life and be a part of you world. It even better to show support
for your partners interests, it healthy for the relationship.
A true Gentleman will give you answers
No matter how awkward or uncomfortable a
situation is, real man, with approach the situation and you with respect. It is
my opinion that the mark of real man is how he handles, criticism, conflict and
less-than ideal situations. A man will not dance around answer, avoid answering
you or make excuses. If there are answers you need, or something you need to
talk about he will talk about it. He will not put it off for any length of time
and he will never use any derogatory or insulting means of speech. (To me this
is another way of avoiding the actual need for answers).
A Gentleman will be direct
On that last point – there will be no manipulation
or mind games in your relationship. A man will be direct, to the point and
honest with you at all times...but once
again with kindness and always with
respect.
A real Gentleman will trust you.
If you have never betrayed his trust or
given him reason to doubt you, a man will NOT be paranoid, or snoop around
invading your privacy to make sure you’re, really, not doing something you shouldn’t
be. He will have confidence not only in you but in your relationship. A boy
will project his insecurities onto you and like termites it will eat away at
the foundation you have built.
A true Gentleman is cool, calm and collected
It should be understood that it comes with
the territory of having a girlfriend, even having a wife, is dealing with her
being hit on. No matter where you are together or if she is out with her
girlfriends that she will get hit on
every once in awhile. Other men out there will inevitably find her attractive.
A man, instead of letting his primitive nature
get the better of him and beating his chest like an angry beast at the first
sign of competition, a confident man will calmly make his position known (with
out making a scene), and understand that you will still be going home with him
at the end of the night.
A true Gentleman will show you respect
Nothing so marks an empty shell of a man
who disrespects, women, children and animals. A good man will treat you with
respect you deserve at all times and will never ask or force you to do anything
that you are uncomfortable with (this includes coercion) and will never
mistreat you. Always be honest with yourself and walk away from any situation
that puts you in physical, mental or emotional harm or danger.
A Gentleman will put effort into your relationship
Boys are usually apathetic and interested
in only one thing from a woman. A grown man will do what it takes, inside and
outside the bedroom to make you happy. He isn’t going to get bored easily
because your happiness is his reward.
A real Gentleman will make you want to be the best version of yourself without changing who your really are.
A man will empower those around him to be
the best they can be. He strives for greatness and therefore inspires others to
strive for it as well. If he has it in his capacity to encourage and support
you to help you with just that extra leap that you need he will do so.
We should always understand that no one is
perfect, this is an unreasonable expectation and people do make mistakes but
the man your tries to cover up those mistakes no matter how small or brushes
them off even continues to repeat them is probably not the best for the kind of
relationship a woman who knows her worth should be with.
A woman does not need to lower her
expectations to find a good man, a GENTLEMAN, all we have to do is have realist
expectations and also to understand that we also need to give a good man what
we receive. And always, always have your eyes open. Never be blinded, as we
often are by flash and clever words. Sincerity a moral code in a man is worth a
lot more than someone who looks good on paper.
