Series Thoughts

I have been negligent of late with my blog, in actual fact I have not blogged anything in over a year. The truth is life has a tendency to take over when you aren't watching and sadly that happens to often. We get so busy trying to keep up with life that we forget to actually live life.

Most of my free moment of late has been spent watching my little boy sleep, he just turned six so it kind of hit me how fast time just seems to race by, trying to catch up on my reading list; I love horror, mysteries and the macabre side of life, but I often resort to reading histories and those stories which are true and therefore makes them stranger and scarier than fiction. When I'm not doing that I'm also trying to catch up on my favourite TV series, so I've ended up having to start right at the beginning since I lost the plot on most of them and have to "refresh".

Having started on Pretty Little Liars (of which I read the book series and found it unnerving) and having to start from scratch on Vampire Diaries (a book series I just cannot seem to read). I found myself on a road thinking about things that just aren't related but just took root in my mind.

One of which is that as we get older, which is inevitable, we seem to forget that as teens we had secret lives that our parents had no clues about. And that most of us, myself included probably did some very horrible things. Okay nothing like the girls on PLL but still it was fairly underhanded and probably not quite what anyone's parents would approve of. Yes some of us, most of us I hope, outgrow these parts of our lives and probably, given the chance would take a do over (not me though), and might want to do things just a bit differently or not at all. We lie, cheat and effectively steel from others; we strip them of their pride, we steel their emotional well being and happiness. Teen girls are more ruthless than boys, I don't doubt that boys are bad but girls...well we are a completely different kind of species. We are cutthroat when we want something. When a woman wants something, we will manipulate, and use others if we think it will get us exactly what we want. And with today's technological advances, we are more easily able to cyber stalk our so called victims. Anonymously post doctored photos on a myriad of different sites, the idea of just making up a story and running with gossip has taken on a whole different meaning. A terrifying one at that. And sadly the most common reason for these things has still managed to stay about men/boys. I'm not entirely sure why that is. Most men if there is a woman they cannot have for whatever reason, usually if she is dating someone else they will back-off but for some reason there are women out there who see this as a challenge. I've asked myself, why has this become the norm? Historically men where the hunters, so if they relentlessly pursued a woman (we call that stalking by the way), it might be understandable but more and more women seem to have developed this "go-getter" attitude and it sometimes seem just a little scary the things some women resort to. Ideas behind series such as PLL is not that far fetched there, are numerous factual stories about girls being stalked and harassed by other girls, the harassment is often so horrible and escalates to the point where the victim can no longer emotionally handle the humiliation and fear that these people rain down. Whats even scarier is that they have friends who would whole heartily help them. I suppose besides the entertainment value of something like PLL it brings home the point that everyone isn't often exactly what they seem. Even teenage girls, which makes it even more terrifying and cut throat, and highlights the issue that one is hopelessly unable to protect the ones you love.

On a lighter note though, Vampire Diaries is about the ultimate badboy and of course the reformed badboy. As I have said before there is a difference between a badboy and a "dick" and although its not easy to see the difference there is one. But in keeping with the VD theme ( isn't Ian just yummy), here we have two boys/men (whatever) in love with the same girl (again) one is the ultimate, hot sexy badboy slash asshole from hell and the other hot sexy, sweetheart who isn't a wimp either. Cut and dry right? Not quite.

Some will say that series like VD encourage women and in the case of the book series young girls to look for the crazy stalker badboy more asshole type because we think that love will change him. But what we are forgetting is that well written books, and a well directed series is supposed to be there to teach you something, to make you see something more than what is on the surface. This series isn't about the nice girl having enough common sense to choose the good guy, the guy that isn't going to be a jackass and break her heart, its about the ultimate female wetdream...that love can change the world, in this case a man who doesn't seem to be worth saving. Here is a man that starts out being the worst kind of asshole to everyone around him and will do anything to achieve his goals (even through its for a woman he loves, he's still a sick asshole), a dick right?, but then low and behold during the course of the series him loving one woman begins to change him in the most astonishing ways. Of course we are forced to look at how two different kinds of love can affect or influence a person, in a way you say that the series is about an uplifting love and a destroying love. In VD the badboy/asshole became the way he was because the woman he had initially loved had used him and then carelessly cast him aside in the worse way, then with the new kind of love he feels for another (the unnerving and very exact physical copy of his first love) be becomes a better man. The basis of his personality is still there, he will do anything and everything he has to protect her, just not always at the cost of others, because he realises that it is something she wouldn't approve of or want, and that she isn't the only one who loves him. That there are different kinds of love and it can change us in different ways.

But what most of us miss is that pain and heartache can make us horrible and bitter people, the downward transition from being "good" to "bad" is a lot easier than learning to be the better person, but someone cannot just be better, not even a "good" kind of love can make someone be a better person. The only thing that can make anyone be a better person is the person themselves, no other power on earth can change that. And someone wanting us to be better and seeing the better in us can maybe the catalyst for that change but in the end we still have to make the decision for ourselves to pick a path. And it never happens over night, its a process of learning and accepting yourself and your past.

So in the end what it comes down to is that sometimes people are they way they are because of something in  their past, and changing yourself for the better is a choice that needs to be made. Its not something someone else can actually make happen.