A Piece of chocolate cake, the topping Seduction - A Guide To SEDUCE

So a while ago I wrote an idea for a blog titled Manipulation/ Manipulator/ Manipulated.

Not the most eloquent of titles but it was the most appropriate that I could think of at the time. In truth no other title could have been more descriptive. 

I had set out to talk about women who are able to manipulate the male species; this manipulation is not only accomplished through sexual favours or even appealing to the base nature of men. Women who are apt at this practice know the human mind; they are able to read people and play to the wants and needs of any person they desire. 

This is both the opposite of that and well as an expansion; manipulation is not the exactly the same as seduction. Manipulation is a short-term way of getting what you want because the majority of people will eventually realise what is being done to them and kick you out of there life, seduction is an art is it not just understanding the wants over short period of time but it is more about setting yourself fixedly in the mind of someone as desirable in more ways than physical. It’s a common mistake to confuse the two. Using your body to get the attention of another person does work, in the short term, but for most men that’s just sex and you want to leave a longer lasting impression than that. You WANT to be an explosion in his mind, to be completely unforgettable in every way possible. Everything that is you, even though it might not be unique is still something that envelops all the senses. In order to do this, you need to change your mind set about “ME” and about what men want, in truth seduction has nothing to do with sex or even sexuality.

Seduction has only to with the mind.

We see people as judging us only on physical attributes and our fashion sense and essentially this is true, most of us are only attracted to what we can see. If we are fortunate enough we learn things about the person that might change that, either we see something that makes us want them in ways we never realised or the complete opposite. But is it possible for someone to be intrigued by you in just a glance or a few words spoken. Yes it is. Women and men have been mastering the art of seducing from a distance and in once chance encounter for centuries. Let us look at the more conventional woman attracting and keeping a man’s attention. We look at most men with the idea that there is a certain type of woman that they are looking for and, for some men that is true, yet for the majority it’s also true that they think, there is a certain type of woman that they want, and over time for a majority that idea changes as they grow older and mature their mind set changes because of life experience, while the rest don’t. There is another subset that believe they are looking for a particular type but might meet someone, who, while might not fit their criteria still becomes their soul mate because of traits, although not unusual are more pealing in this one person as opposed to others.

 “You need to understand men. No matter their shape size…position… or wealth…they all dream of the temptress. The irresistible Venus…who quickly turns pliable maiden when they've had a hard day.”(Destiny of her own)

The key to anything in life understands what you doing. A salesperson has to know and believe in the product they are selling to convince a customer to buy it. This is the essence of seduction. To be a temptress, you need to be a woman who knows what she wants, be self-confident, and know that you are attractive and desirable to all who see you. If you don’t think and feel that you are the greatest prize then who will? There is a difference between being self-confidant and self-absorbed; being self-confident is about, not knowing your worth, but knowing that the person you are is important to achieving your goals and that self worth and confidence comes from yourself not others, self-absorption is birthed in ego – you feel that who you are is wonderful and therefore are deserving of the world. When one feels powerful then this is exuded. To feel power in yourself, you need to know yourself; understand your weaknesses, your strengths and your desires. Weaknesses can become strengths once we understand them and our strengths can become weaknesses.

Once we are able to understand ourselves; our wants, needs and desires (and being able to clearly define and distinguish them) then we are able to understand others. When we know what drives us then we can more clearly see what drives others. Each of the sexes has qualities that are genetically assigned to them yes but these qualities are not that inevitably defines each individual.

Men often use certain words to try and stop a woman from placing demands on them. Ironically we’ve all heard them complain about women who are always complaining and always trying and to get them do something.

The words most often used in these cases are “nag” and “emotional” these terms used by men are tools used to stop women from asking for things or expressing needs that are not being met, it is a form of forcing someone to feel guilty, if you feel that something is essentially your fault for escalating a situation you will stop doing said thing. Here the answer is simple. You HAVE the right to have wants and needs and to have them met. The temptress here is not the woman who bends constantly to a man’s will and uses her body to seduce him but the woman can be anything and everything he holds in his mind but still be exactly who she is, a woman tells a man what she requires from him. This is a woman who is independent, take charge goddess but when she feels the man in her life needs it will bend to his desires to provide him with a safe haven, if that’s what he is in need of. 

Men (no matter what they say or how things appear) ARE attracted to power and confidence in a woman. They want an independent, self-sufficient woman who knows how to take care of things and can run her own life, a woman who stands her ground and is knowledgeable, but will allow herself to be taken care of occasionally. The idea of the female temptress is as old as humanity. It is the reason women have been labelled as evil for centuries by the heavily right-wing leaning religious sect. Eve was noted as the first female temptress and all she did was offer “fruit” something the man could have refused but did not. The image here is of a strong woman offering up a something of herself, she makes a choice to take and partake.

Another myth perpetuated for centuries is that men prefer a passive obedient woman but I have found that a larger majority of men who value a woman with an opinion, if you cannot hold a decent conversation a man is not going to stick around very long. A woman needs to be aware of what’s happening around her; a well formed and informed opinion is always an asset. You need to be able to tempt a man with your mind because no matter how amazing your body might be, if every time you open your mouth and all he hears is noise you’re bound to have a problem. This said every woman needs to see the lighter side of life and have fun, the truth and key to everything in life is balance. A woman who appears to be confident, self-contained and somewhat aloof. A woman who is able to provide for herself or even refuses to take a handout because it’s easy is woman who appears untouchable because she does not need anyone, it takes more than a show of money and flattery to obtain any sort of approval from her.

Men are also by their genetic predisposition drawn to vulnerability, it strokes their ego, as I said men love to be needed. They CRAVE to be a woman’s protector. So occasionally “after a hard day” bow to his needs pamper him make him feel wanted, most important. Now in body language, smile, lift one shoulder and tilt your head to the side. This exposes your neck, you most vulnerable point. It says to him, I trust you, I’m interested and I’m very adorable.

“…she could seduce a man at ten paces without revealing an ounce of flesh.”

More is definitely less, men might be visual creatures but they do have imagination. Men are both, as women are both. If you appear attractive and alluring he will fantasise about you, fantasising leads to wanting and wanting ultimately leads to getting. This is what you want.

Advertising your body is only a temporary means to an end.

Studies have shown that when a man is choosing between a room full of women, the colour red will stand out on his radar almost every time.  Yet red in the background when creating the correct mood does not work. The colour red is anti-flirt, it creates tension. An environment featuring blues, greens and brown creates tranquillity that creates the best possibility for optimum connection. When seducing someone, eye contact is essential, especially locked eye contact. This will draw him to you. A woman’s power lies in her eyes, the movement of her body and the way she carries herself. Now remember you want to keep his eyes above your neck. So play up your eyes, your lips and your cheek bones, and since it’s been found that men are drawn to women with a sense of humour- genuinely laugh at his jokes. And often you will find that others will also be drawn to the sound of your laughter like bees to honey.

Now as I said play up your eyes, lips and cheeks. There is a reason why the ancients said the eyes are the window to the soul. It is through our eyes that we express ourselves the most. It is your eyes that will hold him, your eyes that will tell him you want him. It is in a woman’s eyes and smile that mystery lurks and men are drawn to that, they really do crave the unknown. Didn’t your mother ever tell you, never let a man know everything about you, or give him the impression that he doesn’t. After all there is a reason why people are so drawing to the painting of Mona- Lisa, it isn’t because she is a devastating beauty, she if quite a plain woman but her smile. It is her strange smile; she seems to have a secret as if she knows something that she will never tell, this is the mystery of Mona-Lisa. Now if you are able to have an intelligent conversation and you can manage to smile in the Mona-Lisa way he will be looking at your lips and if he is looking at your lips he will be thinking about kissing you. It has been proven that men are attracted in general to large eyes, full lips and prominent cheek bones.

Any man wants to know that you are interested in him and by catching his eye and smiling from across the room, then looking away will intrigue him. Make him wonder if you’d been looking his way (but please locked gazes are one thing but constant unbroken staring, that’s just creepy). Once you’re sure he has noticed you looking, glance away. Then after a few minutes catch his eye again. By the second or third time nod in his direction very discreetly so that he knows it’s him you’re looking at. The tilt of woman’s chin and the curve of her neck can move mountains  of men but seduction is always about the mental capacity of the woman behind the smile and behind the eyes. Seduction is never about revealing miles of naked skin it is always about utilizing your intelligence, knowing what your best assets are and eloquently applying those resources. It sounds quite impersonal but seduction in itself results in passion but seduction itself is an art and an artist cannot use their tools to the best of their ability if they are not aware of what those tools are.

“Your face is your fortune…”

Even though this might sound like walking back on years of what women’s lib has tried to do and is still trying to do, but a woman always need to look her best. For most women, when you've gone through your beauty routine; shower/bath, hair done, make-up, clothes that you enjoy wearing - you feel good, you feel stronger. A woman’s clothes are like armour that she puts on. We don’t always have confidence in everything that we do, but when we look like we do, when we give the impression that we know that we can do anything then somehow that type of impression of confidence becomes the confidence that we are lacking.

This has nothing to do with being sexist or anti-feminist. Actually I believe a true feminist is everything; she can work as hard as any man, be as commanding and forceful BUT embracing the fact that we were created as the opposite of men. A woman does not need to be a man, because we all know that not only can a woman do everything a man can do but everything that a man cannot do. Being a true feminist is understanding that as a woman you have the ability to do whatever it is that you want. So a woman looking after her beauty is not demeaning to the female but is as well empowering.

Women have always been known as the FAIRER SEX, this is the ultimate truth. The fact that a woman’s face, hair and body has required that men throughout the ages demand that women cover themselves because it is improper to show too much flesh or that hair loosed around the face is something that attracts man, woman is part of the beauty in the world we. Everything about a woman is power, he mind her beauty and knowing when and where to use each asset is important. You are a beautiful woman! Say it! Believe it! Live it! There is nothing wrong with looking good, your face the work of an artist, it is there to be admired, and there is nothing wrong with enhancing the best things about you physically. Make-up as been used as early as 4000B.C.  to enhance the best of features. Draw attention to the most beautiful parts of your face. And smile, the best thing any woman can wear is a smile. When you are truly happy and you smile your entire face lights up. It relaxes your facial muscles inviting others in and makes your eyes sparkle because of the “happy” hormones released into your body. Laughter truly is the best medicine.

“Desire begins in the mind.”

Wanting, begins in the mind. The “desire” to fulfil a physical need is often confused with true desire, true desire does not always dissipate onceyou’ve had what you want, true desire can be increased once you gain it. To plant the seeds of desire one must always consider the image and the thought to be planted into the mind. There is no other way to develop a burning need for you, to have you simply smile or glance in their direction. Seduction of the mind is the most difficult to achieve. You need to encourage him to want to say things just to hear you talk, hear your opinion, your ideas on a subject. This is the key. The ultimate key in fact. His desire just to hear you talk to hear what comes out of your mouth is directly proportional to how much he will want you. The more he wants to make you talk the more he wants you. This means that he finds the things you say intriguing, enticing and they give him clues to who you are, how your mind works. And in doing so he is able to get closer to you; his rational thought tells him the more you want to talk to him the closer he gets to his goal and his goal is to have all of you. He will want to uncover what truly makes you tick so that you will never say no to him. That is any mans ultimate goal, to a the woman he most desires to never want to object to what he wants. Simply because she wants to never say no.

You want him to want to please you before he ever touches you.

“A man is by nature a hunter…”

It is inherent in the genetic make-up of any male to be the provider, protector and hunter. If you take this away from him you essentially rob him of his male essence. He needs to be able to do these things if he can’t he feels repelled. In other words, NEVER  chase a man NEVER agree to be free at all hours of the day or night NEVER allow any man to think that you are at is beck-and-call for him to do as he pleases with your time or your heart. If you do the pursuing of a man he will run so fast in the opposite direction you’ll taste his dust before you’ve had a chance to blink and always being at his disposal with give him the impression that he never has to live up to your needs or wants; besides it’s not very attractive when a woman throws herself at a man. If you find that you constantly want to be in his company when he doesn’t want you there you constantly bothering him when he doesn’t want it. Stop! Stop now because you are only saying that you need him more than he needs you, that “I’ll do anything to get and keep you”, and he will make you do just that, but he won’t necessarily stay. Let him chase you let him run after you, you are worth the work he needs to put in to get and keep you. If he is not prepared to do that he is not worthy.

And finally:

“It’s the wanting that keeps us alive.”(Destiny of her own)

This is the most accurate statement that could ever be made. It stands for anything in life. The more you want something, the greater the ache in your heart and soul is for something, the greater your efforts will be to get and keep it.

The more a man wants you the more he will work to keep you and keep you happy.

Men want what they cannot have, and if they think they cannot have you they will do whatever it takes to get you. This re-enforces the previous statement of a man’s nature. It is important to keep in mind that there is a fine line between enticing someone knowing that you will eventually reward their effort as opposed to enticing someone just to use and then discard them. To keep the wanting alive is to keep doing those things that you did before you had everything that you wanted.

Giving yourself, in slow stages to someone keep the wanting alive, a man you wants you, wants everything that makes you who you are. Your heart, soul and mind because understanding these opens you in ways that just physical love cannot. A man wants to know that no matter how many options you might have had or have available to you, he will always be your only choice.

The power a woman has running through her body is divine, who we are and how we were made is something beautiful. It can be used as a weapon, as armour against the world and it needs to be understood that it can be used to cause harm to others. A woman is power, this is how we were designed

All a woman needs to do is carry yourself with confidence, and the knowledge that you are desired, even if it is only by yourself. It sounds strange to say that a woman needs to desire herself, when a woman looks at her body, her face, if all she see’s are only flaws, flaws are what she will project about her physical self. Make-up can lessen things that we want to hide but these are not permanent fixes, first we must accept these things about yourself and remember that what we see as flaws can also be unique assets, something that allows us to stand out above others. In the world we live in difference is good, different is an assest

Be only the best of yourself, be happy and knowledgably and most importantly secure in who you are and what you can give and bring to any anyone’s life and if it happens to be a man he will see it in others eyes that he is lucky to have you and even if he doesn’t he will know it every day regardless of others.

This will enforce in him that he wants you and wanting you will keep the romance and need to have you alive.

Bottom line ladies love yourself more than you love him, be confidant, know your worth. You are worth more than anything else in this world and your a beautiful. But most of all be happy, be satisfied with your life. When you feel this. You exude power in

YOU. People in general are attracted and drawn to someone who is happy, powerful and secure because that feeling rubs off on them and it mean that should they need you you are capable of with standing any thing the world can throw your way.