looking back there are so many things, moments,
shared dreams and thoughts that have been lost and overlooked. fighting to have
what we wanted was that a waste of time. should it, would it have been better to
just have let them have their way then, given it up and not now have been where
we are now. would it have been better; easier.
would we have lost less, would i? or was it meant to be this way. so many promises made and broken, so many tears shed and regrets voiced silently and privately to ourselves each believing we were doing what was best for the other but never really asking and feeling. i know so many who wish they had not been married taken that step; would you, would we have felt the same when it came down to it or would we have fought as we once did together against the world? wanting someone to want something is not enough, the wanting and needing has to be there in the heart of both not just one. wishing, dreaming, hoping, praying and loving is not always enough when there is only one with hands clasped and face raised to the heavens. were we meant to be more or did we reach our limit? will i always be left wondering about what could have been. do others feel this way or just me. there are more questions than answers and the answers i have feel so incomplete.
there is still this gravitational pull that must be resisted or maybe like everything else it was just only on one side. wanting to sink into oblivion but when oblivion is all that you seek it is the most elusive of things. wanting and needing where all of mine, cried out by one lone voice and receiving no answer that was craved for desired hungered for. what was truth and which were the lies. all seem to fade, mold into one large blur of black.
so much of nothing is left unsaid and yet the feeling of brokenness is there, greater than the ghost of us or have they become one and the same.
would we have lost less, would i? or was it meant to be this way. so many promises made and broken, so many tears shed and regrets voiced silently and privately to ourselves each believing we were doing what was best for the other but never really asking and feeling. i know so many who wish they had not been married taken that step; would you, would we have felt the same when it came down to it or would we have fought as we once did together against the world? wanting someone to want something is not enough, the wanting and needing has to be there in the heart of both not just one. wishing, dreaming, hoping, praying and loving is not always enough when there is only one with hands clasped and face raised to the heavens. were we meant to be more or did we reach our limit? will i always be left wondering about what could have been. do others feel this way or just me. there are more questions than answers and the answers i have feel so incomplete.
there is still this gravitational pull that must be resisted or maybe like everything else it was just only on one side. wanting to sink into oblivion but when oblivion is all that you seek it is the most elusive of things. wanting and needing where all of mine, cried out by one lone voice and receiving no answer that was craved for desired hungered for. what was truth and which were the lies. all seem to fade, mold into one large blur of black.
so much of nothing is left unsaid and yet the feeling of brokenness is there, greater than the ghost of us or have they become one and the same.
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